Change Is Real but So Is the Fear of Change
Then how to conquer it?
I have always feared change, long before I realized it.
Everything is fine when we are kids, the only change we know is the change of clothes and toys, which isn’t unpleasant.
As we enter teenage, the first change, to trigger resistance occurs when we are asked to change a class, playgroups, school, or a house.
I believe, our ability to endure change is something that we are born with, it’s easier for some and scary for the rest.
I was 16 when we were “forced” to change classes for the last year of school, I argued with everybody including teachers to avoid the change without even realizing that there was no need for that resistance. It was rather, my apprehension to change that made me stand against everybody, defying all consequences.
Then, it happened again, when school ended after a year and I had to join a college, I hated it the very first day I went because it brought a big change in my life, a new place, new routine, new people, it was all just too scary for me.
I was still a teenager when all of these changes happened so I didn’t understand a thing before I entered adulthood and saw some real changes, tough ones.
Anything that I loved, I didn’t want to change, ever.
But we are all like that, aren’t we?
So what is it exactly that makes it comparatively easier for some?
For me, it’s our emotional attachment.
Fear of change is deeper in people who approach life emotionally rather than practically.
Being emotional makes a person respond to every change in an emotional manner making them clingy even when they know change is inevitable, whereas, practical people embrace change before it pushes them to the corner.
This fear of change is not just a gruesome process but is also harmful, for it delays our transition into the present, which makes us lag behind the rest. Already difficult things like break-ups and moving on, become even more painful.
Whilst many would argue that embracing change and staying ahead of it is the only way to avoid suffering.
I want to tell people like me, that we are okay.
There’s nothing wrong or weak about us. And we need not fight ourselves until exhaustion, we are just wired differently.
I have literally bashed and forced myself over the last couple of years in order to accept some gruesome changes in my life but all in vain. It took me a lot of nerve-wracking before realizing that maybe that’s not the way to go about it.
Before accepting external changes we must accept the change that lies within us, that we all have a different coping mechanism to change.
However, I can’t deny that it is imperative to drive away from the fear of change but it’s no fight with the evil for change is not evil. The main reason we fear change is because we feel that change will disrupt our peace and only bring difficulties, which is an absolutely absurd reason.
Life is ever-changing, so instead of focusing on what’s left behind, focus on what good is coming to us.
All changes are not under our control and nor are they as crucial as we might think they are, such as a change of jobs, cities, and habits. We don’t realize that these are not the most important aspects of our lives but people are, and a lot of times, it’s us, who need to work harder on retaining those people in our lives instead of blaming change for their reason to leave.
However, few things are very well under our control, only if we drive change and not vice-versa.
Change is only scary until we find out what’s coming at us and once we discover that it’s something pleasant, we no more resist it.
So, to scare away the fear of change we must, first, establish that, we do not “fear” change but we “resist” change.
We plan things, do things that drive change, even the ones scared of change seek change every minute of their lives, so why resist it?
We control change and not the other way around.
