4 Things I Learned by Not Talking to My Friends for a Month

Photo by Timon Studler on Unsplash

I’m going to keep it short today because I talked to my best friend after one whole month, so, running a bit short on words.

I love talking, so, trust me when I say it wasn’t easy.

I build a habit of talking to my friends every day during the lockdown. I thought that was the only way to remain sane.

Sometimes, they would even get annoyed with me for calling them so often, and rightfully so.

Things changed after lockdown restrictions were eased, I could go out to meet them instead of keeping them over call for 2–3 hours.

But, in April 2021, when another lockdown hit my city after six normal (kind of) months, I went back to my old habit, but, I, soon, realized that I can’t do this anymore.

So, then I decided to break this habit by avoiding calling my friends for one whole month of May 2021. I set it as a small goal and test for myself.

I learned some unexpected lessons in this one month.

Here are my top 4:

  1. Saving time

I was wasting a substantial amount of my time every day by calling my friends. Don't get me wrong, talking to friends is a therapy but nothing beyond a limit is good. One call would take me anywhere between 1–3 hours, and that is a tad too much. I was halting all of my other plans, such as exercising, yoga, playing board games, etc., because of this habit. This one month made me realize this and I was able to divide my time amongst other things, effectively.

2. Regaining focus for important tasks

Every day, I would look forward to the evening since that's when I would make a call to one of my friends. There remained nothing more important to me than that, leading to reduced focus on more important things, such as, reading, writing, learning, and working. I wanted to utilize the lockdown time for learning new skills but it wasn’t as productive with the diverted focus.

So, I regained my undivided focus in this one month and utilised it for more productive things.

3. Decreased dependency

I had become immensely dependant on people for my sanity. I would feel frustrated any day when I wouldn’t talk to my people over call for a couple of hours. I would go on my terrace for a walk whilst making a call to somebody, but, if the person wouldn’t pick it up, I would get bored and come back downstairs immediately. Earlier, I would listen to music, and walk, but, now it seemed impossible because of my calling habit.

However, now, when I go for my evening walk to the terrace, instead of calling someone, I listen to a podcast or a Ted Talk. This brought an immense change in me since I was consuming productive and motivational content that would help me with my long-term goals. I, also, felt less dependant on people for maintaining my emotional health or asking for suggestions on every topic of my life.

4. Reflecting back on the friendship

Not talking to my friends gave me enough time to realize certain things:

  • Their importance in my life, now, more than ever.
  • My weak areas to work upon to strengthen my relationships with them, forever.
  • To have more meaningful conversations whilst talking about some important life issues with them instead of arguing

It is a blessing to have good friends because they shape you into becoming your better version.

However, it’s important to be besfriends with yourself, first.

Every relationship needs its space to flourish and its responsibility to maintain that.

P.S. Would love to hear your thoughts!



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